How It All Goes Wrong: Jax's Story
by AgentJX7
Summary: After reading "How It All Goes Wrong" by mulzypops, Jax assembles his own motley crew and heads off to Gravity Falls. Rated K for mild swears. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**So I read "How it All Goes Wrong" by mulzypops. And was like, OMG I MUST WRITE MY OWN VERSION OF THIS. NOW. And to my good buddy Doug, who has been bugging me to update TS, I say with all sincerity: SCREEEEWWWW YOU, DOUG! (It's a thing we do.) Then I messaged mulzy and he said I could do it, so now I am. I also got Mon-Ra, Geo, and Alyssa (The Word Nerd 424) to let me put them in it. (*whispers* heh... suckers.) And, before I get ten bajillion reviews asking "WHAT SHIPPINGS WILL YEW BEE DOING?" I will sai: DipLyssa. That's *probably* it. And for all you WenDip purists, I say: deal with it. I don't like your ship. No offense.**

**But onto the show! R&R!**

(Jax's POV)

I was sitting in the extremely comfy pleather recliner in my living room, surfing the GF archive, when a story popped out at me. It was "How it All Goes Wrong" by mulzypops. After reading the first chapter, my eyes bugged out. Being both a Gravity Falls and a Geography nerd, I freaked out. How had **_I_** not made this connection? Normal, Illinois? OREGON, ILLINOIS? It all fell into place. I immediately sent out a PM to my closest friends on the site.

To: geographicallycorrect, Mon-Ra, The Word Nerd 424

Subj: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

I FOUND EVIDENCE THAT GRAVITY FALLS IS A REAL PLACE. MEET ME AT THE BUS STATION IN NORMAL, ILLINOIS ON MAY 10. PREPARE FOR ACTION. THIS IS POSSIBLY OUR ONLY CHANCE. JOIN ME FOR ADVENTURE.

Roll Out,

Jax

I was going to add Autumn to the list, but read a little further. SHE WAS ALREADY THERE. And she didn't tell me! Well, I would get there myself.

All three messaged me back within the hour. They were in. Mon-Ra wanted adventure; Geo was curious; and Alyssa really, really wanted to meet Dipper. A lot.

(Geo's POV- May 10)

I couldn't believe that I was actually going to Gravity Falls! I was waiting in the Normal bus station (ha), with a sign that read "FALLERS ON A MISSION." There were at least five buses in the terminal, so any of them could walk up at any moment.

Mon-Ra showed up first. He had dark skin, darker hair, and glasses. He was wearing a dark jacket and a t-shirt with a scarab on it, and there was a duffel bag slung over his shoulder, like mine.

"So," he said, "are you Geo or-"

"It's Geo." We shook hands.

"So, is Alyssa here yet?"

"Nah. But... wait, I bet that's her. See the Dipper hat?"

"Oh, yeah."

Alyssa was younger than both of us, and I could tell she was superexcited.

"Hi guys! Wow, this is great. I hope Jax is right about this."

"Me too, kid," I replied. Then my phone buzzed.

Jax had asked each of us for our numbers, so we could stay in touch. The text from him read, "go outsde."

"C'mon, guys, Jax is outside," I told the others.

The outside of the building seemed empty. Then, we heard noise in the distance.

"_Tell a doctor, tell a lawyer, tell the mailman, tell your mother..._"

"Oh, geez," I said.

(Jax's Pov)

After I texted Geo, I resumed focusing on driving. My go-kart, that is. That one rock song from AcceleRacers came on. It's the one Vert plays in the Water Realm. I started singing along.

"GO! Just GO!"

The bus station came into view. I hit the brakes and stopped the music. I screeched to a halt just in front of the three people who could only be the others.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" I asked, pulling off my helmet. I realized that I would look a *little* strange. My brown hair was wild, and most guys don't drive go-karts with wagons attached to the back down the interstate. The ski goggles (I ALWAYS wear goggles on adventures) and bomber jacket would add to the confusion.

"So," I continued, "I'm Jax. No, wait, I think I've got your names. The filipino dude is Mon-Ra, the girl in the Dipper hat is Alyssa, which makes you Geo."

Geo had They all looked a little shocked that I had guessed their names.

"So, this is how we're getting there. I can't afford a limo, so I brought THIS baby."

My go-kart was more of a mess of iron bars assembled to look like a car. The engine and boom box that I used as a radio were up in front of the wheel. There were two bucket seats in the actual go-kart. Attached to the back was a wagon that had two more seats in it. There were a few tanks here and there.

"Wow," Alyssa said. "Did YOU build this? And... is it safe?"

"As safe as it gets." As I said that, the steering wheel fell off. "Oh, shizzle. Let me get that... there. Climb aboard, Explorers!"

"Shotgun," said Mon-Ra.

"Crud," said Geo.

"Okay, just a warning," I said. "I drive fast."

"Let me restate that: Crap."

I hit the music button, and the Imagine Dragons album _Night Visions _began playing. We were off!

**One, done. DONUT RUN! Fastest chapter ever. I typed this in an hour. Next chapter will be up soon. R&R! And, thank you mulzypops!**


	2. WE WANT YOU!

**Hello Everyone! Jax here, and to clarify, my OFFICIAL pen name is AgentJX7. This is not the next chapter, as I have hit a roadblock. I NEED OCs. So, I am holding a semi-open call!**

**RULES-**

**You MUST have written AT LEAST one (1) story for the Gravity Falls Archive. Exceptions will be made if I feel like it, or for new authors.**

**NO PINECEST SHIPPERS. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. (Sorry.)**

**Authors only, fools.**

**Official Submission Form:**

**Name**

**Age**

**Brief**** Physical Description**

**Brief Description of Personality**

**Friends**

**Enemies**

**Dating (optional) [DO NOT SAY DIPPER, USE AN OC OR SOMETHING]**

**Crush (optional) [Okay, here you can say Dipper. Just don't expect much.]**

**Thanks! Also, I will only accept applications submitted through private message. No review submissions, please. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again! Iz me, Jax. So, who wants to know the villain of my story? I _could _tell you now... heh. Ha. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Why would I (sniff) do that? All will be revealed... just not right now. The only story details I am willing to confirm are a camping trip and very large machines. Have fun with theories. Feel free to post them in the comments. Also I had grand total of exactly 0 OC submissions. Zero. Zilch. Nada. It would help if you would send some in. As always, thanks to geographicallycorrect, Mon-Ra, and TheWordNerd424 for letting me use them as characters, ConstellationTemptation, PEACE LOVE SMILE DIP, gravityfallschick, mulzy himself, and my good friend Billcipher4 for letting me Shanghai their characters; and of course mulzypops, for letting me take his story in a weird direction. A very weird direction. So sit back, relax, and enjoy. R&R!**

**IMPORTANT INFO: All restrictions for OC submission are officially cancelled. All authors are welcome.**

(Autumn's [Billcipher4] POV)

I was absentmindedly wandering around the outside of the Mystery (S)hack when we heard the screaming.

"JAX, SLOW THE HELL DOWN!" A female voice was shouting. I froze. Had she yelled "Jax?"

"NEVER! MYSTERY SHACK, HERE WE COME!" This voice was male. If it was who I thought it was, we were all in trouble.

"SLOW DOWN!" Said a third voice, another female. "IF I'M DEAD, HOW CAN I MEET DIPPER?"

"YOU WON'T DIE!" Said still another voice. "JAX, LET'S DRIVE! HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO..."

The crazy gorilla yell went on for about ten seconds. If Jax was actually in Gravity Falls, things were about to get TOTALLY crazy...

-45 Minutes Earlier-

(Jax's POV)

"CHRIST, JAX!" Alyssa shouted. "SLOW DOWN!"

"NO!" I shouted.

The siren behind us grew louder.

"PULL OVER!" The guy yelled.

"OH, GIVE IT A REST, BOB!" Mon-Ra yelled to the man. Bob looked angry.

"LET'S DUMP THE CHUMP!" Geo yelled at me.

"RIGHT! HOLD ON, EVERYBODY!"

I skillfully (luckily) managed to steer us off onto a side road. We slowed down a little bit after a speed bump took us airborne.

"Oof."

"Who said 'Oof?'" Alyssa asked.

Mon-Ra and I were too busy staring at my suitcase to respond.

"Dude, your suitcase just said 'Oof.'" Mon-Ra said.

"Um, I didn't bring a suitcase. We all brought duffel bags. But..." I said, "this is mine."

I kicked the suitcase. It said, "Ow! What the hell?"

I unzipped the bag. Inside sat my friend Doug, writing on a laptop.

"DOUG? WHAT IN THE NAME OF MIKE ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Uh, writing?"

"You know what I mean. You don't write for GF! You don't even _like_ the show!" My friends recoiled in horror as I said this.

"So?"

"THIS TRIP IS TO GRAVITY FALLS!"

"Oh..."

"And… Why are you in my suitcase?"

"Well… I wanted to come with, and there was WiFi in here…"

Mon-Ra looked at me. "Your suitcase has WiFi?"

"Dude," Geo said, "Why the hell does your suitcase need WiFi?"

"My suitcase doesn't have WiFi…" I looked at Doug.

"I had some spare time." He shrugged.

"Well," Alyssa said, "You're stuck with us."

The rest of the drive passed uneventfully. I had to keep shutting Doug in the suitcase to keep him from telling us what "gigantic nerds" we were. I would usually reply with a comment about Monster Hunter, and he would shut up. Then Bob's squad car, siren blazing, popped out of THE FRIGGIN' WOODS. I swear to god, there were goddamn TREES there and they just... turned into this car.

"I'VE GOTCHA NOW, YOU CRAZY HIPPIES! YOU WERE SPEEDING, DRIVING RECKLESSLY AND..." Bob checked his notes. "NOT SIGNALING LANE CHANGES!"

"Get a LIFE, you weirdo!" Alyssa shouted at him. "YOUR STUPID TRAFFIC LAWS WILL NOT KEEP ME FROM DIPPER!"

I pulled onto Pines Road, no idea what I was doing, and saw the sign.

"GUYS! FORGET THE TRAFFIC COP! THE PORTAL!"

"Jax, are you... JAX, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU BETTER NOT!" Geo shouted at me. With that, I laughed maniacally and slammed the go-kart into the sign.

There was a blinding flash of light, and then the world seemed... brighter. I looked down, and My entire body had been simplified. I glanced back, and saw that everybody had been transformed into cartoon characters. _We were in the show._

"Holy crap," Doug said, "what the hell happened to my face?"

"IT'S NOT WEDNESDAY, DOUG!" I shouted. Inside joke. You don't wanna ask.

He began his signature reply, "Everyday is Wednesday, bi-"

"DOUG! THIS IS A K+ FICTION!"

"Well, SORRY, as- sorry." He caught the look I was giving him.

"JAX, SLOW THE HELL DOWN!" Geo shouted.

"NEVER! MYSTERY SHACK, HERE WE COME!" I shouted back.

"SLOW DOWN!" Alyssa shouted at me. "IF I'M DEAD, HOW CAN I MEET DIPPER?"

"YOW WON'T DIE!" Mon-Ra told her. "JAX, LET'S DRIVE! HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!"

"Gorilla yell? Really? Whatever. HOO HOO HOO HOO..." I joined him. Then, we broke through a line of bushes. The go-kart sailed off a small cliff.

"OH, HOLY-" Doug began to yell. I punched him in the face, because whatever came next would not be K+.

The kart landed hard on its side. The girls rolled out of the wagon, then the wagon separated from the kart and rolled down a small hill. It was then promptly hit by lightning, set ablaze, and then it exploded.

"Really?" Geo asked.

"We're in a cartoon. It's all about exaggeration." I said.

"Jax?" There was a brown-haired girl standing over us.

"Who's asking?"

"Autumn. What the HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

"No 'Oh hi, friend, welcome to Gravity Falls?'"

"You do realize that you're stuck here now."

Doug popped out of the suitcase.

"WHAT?! I'M STUCK IN THIS CRAZY PLACE? JA-"

"Doug, if you use my full and proper name, I swear to Cthulhu I will END YOU." Doug sank back into the suitcase.

"Well," said Autumn, you guys are stuck here."

I looked around and noticed the other people standing around. There was one guy, and three other girls, standing around outside. The guy had tan skin and dark hair. Mulzy. They all looked confused. And behind them… HOLY HELL, DIPPER AND MABEL. I never thought I would actually get to meet them. Alyssa looked up. She froze.

"Jax, is that.." She pointed at Dipper.

"Yup."

"And can I…"

"Yup."

She ran past all the confused writers and hit Dipper with all the force of a great typhoon.

"AHHHH!" I guessed it was Dipper screaming. Alyssa jumped back up, then helped him up.

"Sorry, Dippingsauce."

"Hey, I call him that!" Mabel was standing behind them watching this.

"Right, introductions," Autumn continued. "This is Mulzy, PEACE LOVE SMILE DIP, GravityFallsChick, and ConstellationTemptation." They nodded in turn, and ConstellationTemptation said "Call me Stella."

"And you guys are?"

"Right. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Jax. Crew leader, psychopath, DipCifica shipper, and evil genius extraordinaire. This is Mon-Ra, winner of the 2012 Faller award for best Gravity Falls fan fiction."

"Sup."

"Right. And this is Geo, my close personal friend, and a great writer." Geo gave a little wave of hello.

"And the girl back there is Alyssa. She's a great writer, and I think you're all familiar with her. Oh, and this is Doug. He's my idiot friend who stowed away and showed up even though he's not a Faller."

"You're all gigantic nerds," Doug said from inside the suitcase. He then gave me the finger.

"Just ignore the nonbeliever."

"Well," said Mulzy, "Welcome to the falls. Our group would be larger, but some of the members went to Piedmont to find Dipper and Mabel's parents and beat up Shay Gleeful. If they can."

Before anything else could be said, a huge black square appeared in the middle of the field.

"ALL RIGHT, I'M CRASHING THIS PARTY!" Said a voice. A voice I knew well.

A girl stepped out of the portal. Even in the simplified animation state, I recognized her. She was incredibly skinny, and her brown hair was pulled up. She wore jean shorts, a t-shirt with Dimentio on it, a Chaos Heart necklace, and knee-high, purple-and-black-striped socks. She also had a wicked-looking knife. In short, she looked badass.

"Well, you got here differently." She turned at me and smiled.

"What, did you think I was gonna let you have all the fun?"

"Did I miss something?" Geo asked.

"Right. Guys, I'd like to introduce my girlfriend."

"WHAT?!"

**All done. Yes, I do have a girlfriend. This is Jax, signing off.**


End file.
